Text. (Filtered from Bro. And Dirk.)

[crowsicle]

jesus
apparently taking a morning stroll through the used section of a shitty video game store constitutes suspicious behavior in these parts
nice to know random raving jackass keep me updated
christ i know its a weekday but isnt school out by now??
also heres a psa for you
even if i am a filthy hooky playing juvenile delinquent that doesnt make me a child stealer
fuckin rude
newsflash i was the one who got kidnapped and brought here against my will three months ago
obviously
who in their right mind would ever want to be stuck in canada
maybe the kid finally found a way out of this pisshole and decided not to take her douchebag parents with her
if not i hope someone finds her soon so i can look for two dollar tony hawk knockoffs in peace
this is bullshit
anyway
this isnt what i wanted to talk about
i have a question
what do you get your dad for fathers day when youre kind of strapped for cash
and also you didnt know he was your dad
and maybe you kind of have two dads
and one of them probably doesnt know hes your dad because hes like sixteen
yeah
does hallmark make singalong cards for this situation
this is kind of a new thing for me im shaky on the etiquette here

jesus
apparently taking a morning stroll through the used section of a shitty video game store constitutes suspicious behavior in these parts
nice to know random raving jackass keep me updated
christ i know its a weekday but isnt school out by now??
also heres a psa for you
even if i am a filthy hooky playing juvenile delinquent that doesnt make me a child stealer
fuckin rude
newsflash i was the one who got kidnapped and brought here against my will three months ago
obviously
who in their right mind would ever want to be stuck in canada
maybe the kid finally found a way out of this pisshole and decided not to take her douchebag parents with her
if not i hope someone finds her soon so i can look for two dollar tony hawk knockoffs in peace
this is bullshit
anyway
this isnt what i wanted to talk about
i have a question
what do you get your dad for fathers day when youre kind of strapped for cash
and also you didnt know he was your dad
and maybe you kind of have two dads
and one of them probably doesnt know hes your dad because hes like sixteen
yeah
does hallmark make singalong cards for this situation
this is kind of a new thing for me im shaky on the etiquette here

[[OOC: As always, you can opt into Davesprite's text quirk here on his permissions post. Otherwise I just answer in black Courier.]]

Comments

[mustaches]

Just because you know a guy who's "like him" doesn't mean they're exactly alike, Dave.

[crowsicle]

[Oh Jane, you have no idea.]

Right. Yeah. That'd be basically unheard of and totally not a thing that happens here ever.

[mustaches]

[Let her stay in her oblivious bubble awhile longer]

If you got to know him, I bet you'd find that he's nothing like this guy you know!

[crowsicle]

Well, sucks for him, I guess, because the guy I know is basically the most unrighteously badass dude that's ever stood with a katana on top of a flaming meteor.

[Also Dirk won't give Davesprite a chance to get to know him boohoohoohoo]

[mustaches]

... You're not being serious, are you?

[You can't stand on a meteor silly that's not physically possible get with the program.]

[crowsicle]

Is this the face of a bird who would lie to you?

[Disregarding the fact that they are voice-chatting right now.]

[mustaches]

I don't know, you tell me.