Text. (Filtered from Bro. And Dirk.)

[crowsicle]

jesus
apparently taking a morning stroll through the used section of a shitty video game store constitutes suspicious behavior in these parts
nice to know random raving jackass keep me updated
christ i know its a weekday but isnt school out by now??
also heres a psa for you
even if i am a filthy hooky playing juvenile delinquent that doesnt make me a child stealer
fuckin rude
newsflash i was the one who got kidnapped and brought here against my will three months ago
obviously
who in their right mind would ever want to be stuck in canada
maybe the kid finally found a way out of this pisshole and decided not to take her douchebag parents with her
if not i hope someone finds her soon so i can look for two dollar tony hawk knockoffs in peace
this is bullshit
anyway
this isnt what i wanted to talk about
i have a question
what do you get your dad for fathers day when youre kind of strapped for cash
and also you didnt know he was your dad
and maybe you kind of have two dads
and one of them probably doesnt know hes your dad because hes like sixteen
yeah
does hallmark make singalong cards for this situation
this is kind of a new thing for me im shaky on the etiquette here

jesus
apparently taking a morning stroll through the used section of a shitty video game store constitutes suspicious behavior in these parts
nice to know random raving jackass keep me updated
christ i know its a weekday but isnt school out by now??
also heres a psa for you
even if i am a filthy hooky playing juvenile delinquent that doesnt make me a child stealer
fuckin rude
newsflash i was the one who got kidnapped and brought here against my will three months ago
obviously
who in their right mind would ever want to be stuck in canada
maybe the kid finally found a way out of this pisshole and decided not to take her douchebag parents with her
if not i hope someone finds her soon so i can look for two dollar tony hawk knockoffs in peace
this is bullshit
anyway
this isnt what i wanted to talk about
i have a question
what do you get your dad for fathers day when youre kind of strapped for cash
and also you didnt know he was your dad
and maybe you kind of have two dads
and one of them probably doesnt know hes your dad because hes like sixteen
yeah
does hallmark make singalong cards for this situation
this is kind of a new thing for me im shaky on the etiquette here

[[OOC: As always, you can opt into Davesprite's text quirk here on his permissions post. Otherwise I just answer in black Courier.]]

Comments

video;

[crowsicle]

[He doesn't have a velvet pillow to suffocate himself with handy, so he just covers his face with his hands.]

God, they never shut up, they just hang there laughing at you with their weird dead eyes and even if you don't ask them a question they're just there going "HEE HEE HOO HOO HAA HAA" until your cerebral cortex just fucking explodes.

video;

[motioned]

...I don't think we're talking about the same kinds of puppets.

video;

[crowsicle]

[Muffled by his hands:] Oh my goddddd.

[He straightens, though, and lets his hands fall.]

Okay, point is, I'm not getting him a puppet. Not even to be ironic. There are lines that just don't get crossed.

video;

[motioned]

[Note to self: Davesprite is traumatized, don't mention puppets again.]

Something else to do with swords, maybe? Just be really careful with them!

video;

[crowsicle]

I never could afford anything but hella shitty swords, and I sure can't pay for one now. The one I've got's already a hand-me-down.

video;

[motioned]

Maybe you could get a plastic one!

video;

[crowsicle]

Okay, so next time he gets in a fight at least they can't gut him with his own blade again.

[Bluhhhhhh. Christ, what is he doing.]

Fuck, no, sorry, Ahiru. It's just shitty with Dave gone, and. Like. He's done a lot for me. Like kind of everything. And I really don't know how to even--like--I don't even know.

video;

[motioned]

[She pauses.]

Okay, um, no swords. You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry about your friend, though.

Maybe you could try telling him how you felt? I know for me, that'd be worth more than a ton of gifts.

video;

[crowsicle]

[Too quickly:]

What? No.

video;

[motioned]

Why not?

video;

[crowsicle]

That'd be so fuckin' weird.

video;

[motioned]

Don't you want him to know how much you appreciate him?

video; 1/2

[crowsicle]

No.

video;

[crowsicle]

...

Kind of. Maybe.




Is there a way I can do that without looking like a total dumbass tool?

video;

[motioned]

I don't think talking about that makes you a dumb - er, a tool! But I guess if you wanted to be more subtle, you could make him something yourself? That would take longer than just buying him something, so he'd know that you care enough to spend the time!

video;

[crowsicle]

I don't--

[aksjdfasdfasfd HELP WHAT ARE FEELINGS

WHAT ARE FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR BRO WHO FOUND YOU AND RAISED YOU AND LITERALLY DIED FOR YOU?]

Mmngh. What, uh. Kind of things would you make, if it were you?

video;

[motioned]

Well, you're good at different sorts of things than me! What do you think you'd be able to make the best?

video;

[crowsicle]

Shitty comics.

...Weird dead things in jars.

video;

[motioned]

You could probably draw him something! But I don't think he'd like, um, a weird dead thing in a jar.

video;

[crowsicle]

God, this is so embarrassing, I shouldn't have said anything. I don't even know if he'd want any of this shit.

video;

[motioned]

It's not embarrassing! I'm not judging you or anything, and I'm sure he wouldn't, either.

video;

[crowsicle]

Oh hell no. You don't know him. He totally would. Fuck.

[Is it too late to duck into the crawlspace and pretend none of this ever happened?]

video;

[motioned]

Well, he doesn't know! So you don't need to worry.

video;

[crowsicle]

This was a stupid idea, maybe I shouldn't do anything. I mean, if he wanted something for Father's Day he would've called himself my dad growing up or something.

video;

[motioned]

If you want to get him something, I think you should!