004 // TEXT

[plushrumpus]

dave.
this is fair warning before i call the cops.
you dont want the goddamn cyberpunk mountie brigade up your ass now do you.
yeah thats what i thought.
yknow if it turns out your skinny ass got mindwiped dont sweat it okay.
shit happens all the time round these parts.
pretty sure amnesia is required by canadian law.
no more than half the returning population shall be allowed to retain any memory of previous inhabitation of the port.
says right here in the rules of canada on page something.
article whatever paragraph who gives a shit its not like anyone actually reads these goddamn things.
so lemme fill you in.
you have an apartment here.
me and feathery you got a sweet setup.
not as sweet as back in houston but hey that pad was tighter than a nuns asshole so theres still a lot of work to do before we can make this place into something truly worthy of being strider apartment two point oh.
and wed definitely get back on track with another pair of hands to help out.
not to mention this place is already like a goddamn family reunion.
mini me and rose and the teenage version of your mom are all here.
milf version still missing but i havent ruled out the possibility.
we also got saddled with a bunch of your dorky friends.
yknow except your girlfriend cause she went missing a few days ago too.
by the way yeah you and jade are practically common law married here.
congratulations a second time.
point is you arent alone out there.
if you are out there at all.
so stop being an asshole and come home already.

Comments

text; SO LATE I'M SORRY

[motioned]

wait

the one with or without wings?

NO WORRIES <3

[plushrumpus]

without.
why. you seen him.

[motioned]

oh. no, i haven't, i just wanted to make sure which it was

i hope you find him, though

[plushrumpus]

yeah birdy bro is still safe and sound.
no need to worry about him.

and thanks.

[motioned]

i'm glad. you're his brother?

[plushrumpus]

the one and only.
yknow unless you count alternate universe selves.

[motioned]

wait, alternate universe selves?

[plushrumpus]

yeah teenage clone me is here.
he grew up different so we aint exactly the same person.
but hes still a strider.
and being a strider automatically makes you a bro.

[motioned]

how does that even work

[plushrumpus]

hell if i know.
back home we had a lot of shenanigans like that.
yknow like the meteor apocalypse and more little bros than any man should reasonably have the responsibility of looking after.

[motioned]

he told me about that. sorry your world got destroyed by meteors mister

how many do you have?

[plushrumpus]

yeah.
shit happens i guess.
and just the two here.
one in candy red and the other in feathery creamsicle.
pretty sure the others either died or disappeared at this point.
time powers and all that.

[motioned]

if they were here and you can't find them, i'm sure they just went home.

[inthejunk]

[So not here since he doesn't even know you guys, but popcorn.gif at this.]

[plushrumpus]

[Haha wow rude, Yosuke, he just lost his little bro.]

[inthejunk]

[Exactly. You guys with the freaky text are like the best drama on this network. Always doing crazy shit and whatever...er. Don't worry, he'll tune in for the happy reunion whenever that happens too.]

[plushrumpus]

[Don't hold your breath, kiddo. It's not gonna be for a while. If ever.]

[inthejunk]

[This series is so depressing. And the episode about the bag of milk made it seem so promising...]

[vestalvogue]

Did It Work

[plushrumpus]

nah.
see the shitty thing about sending out a message like this is it cant teleport the intended reader to whoever sent it.
it also cant cross over whatever bullshit universe barrier the core does.
not even future canada has that kind of technology.
at least not intentionally.
if hes here hes gotta come find me.
if hes not i guess hes just gonna go on in blissful ignorance of thinking im still dead.
playing his can games with little miss justice boner and quote the mayor unquote.
yknow. whatever it is you guys did for fun on that big space rock.

[crowsicle]

ps dave speaking of losing memory
youre about to run out of space for music
or actually i am because i swiped your shit
so if you dont want to end up with twenty six hours worth of amorous bird calls you should probably stop me now



damn

[Didn't work.]

[plushrumpus]

yeah from now on just keep your avian porn to yourself okay.
no furry.

[crowsicle]

what
one we all know he likes it
two im just dipping my talons into the family business
no incest

[plushrumpus]

yeah.
then keep it on your own shit.
i aint keeping it and i aint cleaning out space for it.
get your own piece of crap netbook.

[crowsicle]

i didnt anyway
like hell im deleting two and a half gigabytes of deliriously unsound beats for anything
better hold off on the netbook until the grand opening festivities for strider and strider incorporated
which will be you know
years in the future
if any

[plushrumpus]

yeah dont hold your breath.

also im stopping at the corner store you want some crap.
dont say cheetos though.
im already getting those.

[crowsicle]

gummy worms
otherwise i think were pretty ok on food
i can check under the couch if you want me to though

[Don't ask. Don't ask, you already know the answer sucks, asking isn't going to fix anything, you don't want to know--]

hey so how much did it cost to haul my ass out of sp general

[plushrumpus]

kid.
youre alive and healthy.
why the fuck does it matter.

[crowsicle]

so
a lot then
i dont know it doesnt matter really
just thought itd be kind of a crazy and unprecedented change for me to stop being a useless piece of shit all year
and pay all these bills
or some of them i guess

[gunsling]

Still no word?

[plushrumpus]

nope.

[gunsling]

I was afraid of that.
I havent seen hide mor hair of jade yet either.