[ voice ]

[philosopher]

[The voice being recorded is both hushed (out of respect for the speaker's present environment) and weak (for reasons yet to be explained).]

Diane, it's... 6:36 pm on May 17, 2012. By my calculation, that means I've been asleep for... two hundred and seventy-nine months. Twenty-three years have passed since my last recording, Diane, and I have to say: I look pretty great for my age.

The last time I remember speaking to you, it was from the floor of my room at the Great Northern Hotel and I had just been shot. I don't remember a whole lot else, but the doctors tell me I've lost quite a bit of blood so that's to be expected. I feel both frustrated and grateful. Grateful to be alive, and frustrated because the investigation is facing yet another setback.

"Setback" may be an understatement. Diane, you are not going to believe this. As I just told you, it's been twenty-three years. That's twenty-three years in the blink of an eye. They tell me I've traveled through time, and that's apparently a common occurrence around here. Here being the city of Siren's Port, Canada - that's an island off the coast to the west of Vancouver, Diane. Have you ever heard of a place like that? I sure haven't.

The frustrating part is that my ticket was one-way. Preferable, yes, to the other one-way ticket I was facing - but gosh I really felt it. I was on the verge of something. Will I ever know who killed Laura Palmer?

[There's a pause and murmuring in the background, along with the squeaking of a cart being rolled into the room.]

- Ah, more on that later, Diane. Nurse Irene is here.

[Click.]

Comments

[philosopher]

That's correct.

[Cooper is downright chipper in comparison.]

[deductives]

[For getting shot, he seems rather complacent. Almost naive. None of the cynicism well placed in twenty first century Americans.]

Quite evident by your overconfidence in your case, and the American tendency to turn every investigation into a film noir narrative.

[philosopher]

Overconfidence?

[deductives]

You seem very certain you were about to solve a case. If you're FBI, presumably a difficult case, and a prominent one that couldn't be solved by average police. Naturally, that puts you in a higher caliber than them, but you're still operating on "feelings."

Evidence tends to be more reliable.

[philosopher]

Intuition bridges the gulf between evidence and conclusion.

[deductives]

[Yep, that's a scoff.]

I'd say deduction is a better bedfellow for them.

[philosopher]

Do you find the two methods mutually exclusive?

[deductives]

When they should be. Intuition only has a place when years of practicing deduction fine tunes it to follow a straight course of logic.

[philosopher]

I've found that they go hand in hand quite nicely. Sometimes there's nothing to lead you to the next clue but your own nose.

[deductives]

If you mean literally, I agree.

[philosopher]

Literally and metaphorically, I mean.

So you're a detective, too?

[deductives]

Intuition, Agent Cooper? [Desert dry humor. As always.]

Consulting detective. Sherlock Holmes.

[philosopher]

Sherlock Holmes...

[He chuckles like someone just told a mildly funny joke.]

[deductives]

I haven't stepped out of a book lately, if that's what you're thinking.

[How he wishes this was the first time this happened. Though existing to people from other worlds, just as someone from a book, was a fascinating concept.]

[philosopher]

Forgive me... You mean that you're actually Sherlock Holmes?

[deductives]

Yes. From 221b Baker Street and here with John Watson. I'm from this time, though.

[philosopher]

Fantastic.

[Whether he believes it or not, he'll happily go along with it.]

An honor to meet you, Mr. Holmes.

[deductives]

Charmed.

You're taking this all in stride, then.

[philosopher]

To do otherwise would be a waste of energy, don'tcha think?

[deductives]

Some still think it a prudent pursuit to try and find a way out. I don't discourage them.

[Whether or not it's not bothering to reason with fools, he doesn't say.]

[philosopher]

Oh, I would very much like to return home, if someone could find a way. But until that becomes possible, I have no choice but to adapt to the situation.

[deductives]

Sound logic. Afraid the FBI doesn't have jurisdiction here, though. Planning on joining the police?

[philosopher]

That is my intention.