1 [Text]

[theorizes]

[The NV does not show a person. Instead, he sends out a text. Because Skyping is for people who have achieved the first three tiers of friendship.

He's also rather freaked out by the Darkness and doesn't particularly want to show it on video feed, so he's just going to sit in his new starter apartment and pretend everything is perfectly normal and Leonard is going to come get him, thank you very much.]

I have been told by one [1] so-called expert in the field that I have been brought to an alternate dimension. As this is both ridiculous and impossible as I have not discovered it yet, I am waiting for an explanation that is both reasonable and able to be proven.

Until then, I will be waiting within this house of the American past-time, attempting to find a train station to return me to Pasadena.

Should they be within this "alternate dimension Canada", I require the presence of one [1] Leonard Hofstadter, provided he is not off wasting his time entertaining the company of two [2] scientists by the names of Rajesh Koothrappali and Howard Wolowitz or one [1] Cheesecake Factory waitress that lacks the education to know this is a ridiculous hallucination by the name of Penny.

By the terms of our friendship agreements, they need to be within this baseball diamond.

Now.

[And then, just as this text is sent out, another one follows it, from the same feed number.]

Amy, if you can read this, call me. Please.

I need to speak with you immediately.

Comments

[paterelohim]

My English is fine. I actually use grammar, which is more than a lot of people here can claim. This isn't a term paper, it's the intranet.

I'm trying to give you a really shitty silver lining. Your friends aren't here, which sucks for you, but for them it's a different story.

[theorizes]

The only silver lining that I see in this situation is that some of the characters Joss Whedon murdered in his constant crusade to destroy lives may have some kind of little happy alternate universe funtime.

As for my friends, they are most likely having dinner with Stephen Hawking, while I am here.

You can, and pardon the ridiculous language, understand why I'm two seconds from putting a proverbial cap in someone's ass.

[paterelohim]

Well, yeah. Everyone is. At least you're not in "can't sleep, clown will eat me" mode.

When you get back home, you'll have dinner with Stephen Hawking, too. I've actually been home before and come back- it's like this place never existed.

[theorizes]

Of your own volition?

[paterelohim]

Well, no. Nobody can really control the Core.

[theorizes]

Obviously someone can, we're all here.

[paterelohim]

That's a malfunction. If anyone could control the Core, they'd change the Pull so the island could get more imports and exports.

[theorizes]

But the natives aren't affected?

[paterelohim]

Yes they are. They can't leave the island either.

[theorizes]

So why are they trapped here? Is it actually the Core or is it this host of political propaganda I was given upon arrival?

[paterelohim]

It's actually the Core. The residents want off the island just as bad as we do- they want off, they want imports and exports, they want connection to the rest of Canada, but the government probably doesn't want the world knowing that there's a locked-in island floating here off the coast of Canada, since we're impossible to evacuate and that makes us sitting fucking ducks.

With no Pull, we could import our food and produce, and the companies could develop the farmland into industrial use. The Port could be a tourist destination without the Darkness.

They don't want things the way they are. I'm convinced of that.

[theorizes]

Government conspiracy, then.

It figures.

[paterelohim]

Maybe for some of it. I doubt they're controlling the Core, though, or that anyone REALLY is, since the Core keeps bringing people here who fuck everything up.

[theorizes]

So the Core is just a scientific anomaly that people can't figure out, then. A gap in space and time or something of the sort.

[paterelohim]

Basically. The fact that they even found the friggin' thing is new.

[theorizes]

How inefficient.