"BECAUSE. Because I am FED UP, Yosuke. I am tired of owing people money and favours and - and if I do it for six months, every night, then I can pay every debt I owe. I can pay this bill and pay off Monsieur Gold and find myself a proper house and a proper job."
Eponine is despairing. She doesn't know how to communicate her true feelings. She doesn't even know what they are, really. She's spent so many years fighting back feelings that she finds it difficult now to even acknowledge them. But in truth, it boils down to her own self-hate. She doesn't know how to act around decent people in a decent job on the right side of society. She doesn't believe she has any place there.
Yosuke's telling-off catches her off-guard though. A liar? No, not a liar... just.... for so long she's heard that she's ugly and useless and worthless and worse that it's difficult for her to accept a compliment now. She hates herself so much she just can't see any beauty in herself at all. Eponine casts her eyes away from him, until he asks the question. Then she looks up.
"Yes. Yes, I learned not to rely on anybody else. I do not need anything from any body. I am better off alone. I am SICK of my life being harder because of other people. I let Ella give me a house, and she has the power to make me go. I let Jesse give me a job, and I am to be a criminal. I let M'sieur Gold give me money and I am still in his debt. I let Hattie give me a dress and I end up doing everything she orders of me for free. YOU give me a house and I am left with NOTHING. I am FED UP, Yosuke, with being who I am. And if six months of letting men - women - whoever, do as they wish, then it is a SMALL price for the rest of my life. I can be happy then. I can have a house and stop working for Jesse and perhaps have a bookshop. It is only six months."
And Marius, even now, will never love her. So why should she try to be a lady? Six months more and then her new life as a respectable person can begin.
Re: Action! :)
Eponine is despairing. She doesn't know how to communicate her true feelings. She doesn't even know what they are, really. She's spent so many years fighting back feelings that she finds it difficult now to even acknowledge them. But in truth, it boils down to her own self-hate. She doesn't know how to act around decent people in a decent job on the right side of society. She doesn't believe she has any place there.
Yosuke's telling-off catches her off-guard though. A liar? No, not a liar... just.... for so long she's heard that she's ugly and useless and worthless and worse that it's difficult for her to accept a compliment now. She hates herself so much she just can't see any beauty in herself at all. Eponine casts her eyes away from him, until he asks the question. Then she looks up.
"Yes. Yes, I learned not to rely on anybody else. I do not need anything from any body. I am better off alone. I am SICK of my life being harder because of other people. I let Ella give me a house, and she has the power to make me go. I let Jesse give me a job, and I am to be a criminal. I let M'sieur Gold give me money and I am still in his debt. I let Hattie give me a dress and I end up doing everything she orders of me for free. YOU give me a house and I am left with NOTHING. I am FED UP, Yosuke, with being who I am. And if six months of letting men - women - whoever, do as they wish, then it is a SMALL price for the rest of my life. I can be happy then. I can have a house and stop working for Jesse and perhaps have a bookshop. It is only six months."
And Marius, even now, will never love her. So why should she try to be a lady? Six months more and then her new life as a respectable person can begin.