[Or some pants that haven't had the waistband stretched to accommodate an eight foot tall behemoth... he just needs the world to know the old man look isn't a fashion choice. He has some standards; he turned down the purple shorts...]

That's getting pretty all-inclusive there.

[He shakes his head at the offer.] I'd be drummed out of the men's smoking lounge if I let you carry me, and before you ask, that's a joke.