[She shakes her head earnestly, her hand working into his hair and gripping him tighter, as she brings him closer to make sure he gets every forced-out word.]
I made a deal with a demon. I was- an adult, and I should have known better. [She takes a labored breath, struggling not to hate herself too much. Not to cry.] My parents raised me to know better. Even worse, I made a deal where the terms were unclear. I didn't even know what I was bargaining- all I knew was that in ten years, that demon would be back to take something he said I wouldn't miss.
[She's gritting her teeth in anger, grief, a thousand different facets of pain shining in her eyes at the sound of her own child (Sam) apologizing for living that night.]
I made that deal and that's why the demon came for you at all. It couldn't have gotten in the house if it weren't for me. [She tries to blink back tears but it's too late, they're stinging her eyes and burning her cheeks with every word.] I am so sorry. I walked into the the nursery that night and saw a demon bent over my baby's crib and- I thought he was taking you. Sam, I would have done the same thing over again, a thousand different times. Sam, please don't blame yourself for me ruining your life, please.
[She wouldn't normally fall apart like this, but her mental stability was hanging by a thread when he got here, and this combination of triggers and traumas has pushed her into full-on crying while holding him and gripping his hand like she means to break it.]
no subject
[She shakes her head earnestly, her hand working into his hair and gripping him tighter, as she brings him closer to make sure he gets every forced-out word.]
I made a deal with a demon. I was- an adult, and I should have known better. [She takes a labored breath, struggling not to hate herself too much. Not to cry.] My parents raised me to know better. Even worse, I made a deal where the terms were unclear. I didn't even know what I was bargaining- all I knew was that in ten years, that demon would be back to take something he said I wouldn't miss.
[She's gritting her teeth in anger, grief, a thousand different facets of pain shining in her eyes at the sound of her own child (Sam) apologizing for living that night.]
I made that deal and that's why the demon came for you at all. It couldn't have gotten in the house if it weren't for me. [She tries to blink back tears but it's too late, they're stinging her eyes and burning her cheeks with every word.] I am so sorry. I walked into the the nursery that night and saw a demon bent over my baby's crib and- I thought he was taking you. Sam, I would have done the same thing over again, a thousand different times. Sam, please don't blame yourself for me ruining your life, please.
[She wouldn't normally fall apart like this, but her mental stability was hanging by a thread when he got here, and this combination of triggers and traumas has pushed her into full-on crying while holding him and gripping his hand like she means to break it.]