[Terra stops in his tracks on his way to let himself out of their house through the front door. He stares down at his NV, stunned by the pointed nature of her question. For a fleeting few seconds, the burn of anger encroaches on his heart... But the moment passes and his spirits just as quickly sink. The too-familiar feeling of shame crumbles over him. He turns his eyes off the NV and watches the door instead.
Why isn't he? Why isn't he happy?
I'm not happy at all, he wants to tell her, but that's so much more than her return or even just her. That's the world itself and the darkness (and the Darkness) and his jobs and the way his days are full of so much talking when no one's really saying anything. That's him not having a dream or a purpose or a goal. That's him getting up in the morning and wondering if she's going to get up, too, or if he'll be checking her room and the house for her, or looking for notes she might have left, coming up with excuses about how maybe she had to go to work really early or maybe she went to do a little training, because his heart would like nothing more than to believe her but how can he when he keeps having to dial her number and listen to that disconnected recording. That's Ven being so quiet even when things in the city are loud and busy. That's the Master leaving so soon after meeting his eyes. That's too many months of watching happiness keep slipping through his fingers.
You remember... but were we ever happy before? What can I be happy about?
It's all wrong.
Wrong of him.
He used to know the truth of their situation. He used to understand and embrace it with all of his being. He knew what mattered. When did his priorities get shuffled out of the right order?
None of the things I've been worrying about all this time are important.
Terra chances a wary look down at his NV as if the video feature might have turned itself on of its own accord. The way she'd asked that question... He winces as he closes his fingers around the button to reply.]
I don't know.
[His own happiness... It's almost laughable, in hindsight. Laughable and painful in a way that tightens his chest and dries out his mouth. She's back and she remembers and he's already hurt her.
You're such a fool. You're supposed to be doing everything in your power to make things right for them here. And things being right means both of them being happy and safe.
His happiness is nothing. Concern for it never should been found its way into his mind after all his mistakes, all the terrible things he's done both with and without Xehanort's 'assistance'.]
I'm sorry.
[Why were you happy to hear from me? All I gave you was grief before. I waited too long to tell you what you needed to know. I couldn't be relieved that you remember. I didn't ask if you were okay or what happened when you went back. I've just been thinking about myself.
He retreats slowly to the couch he'd been sitting on.]
voice;
Why isn't he? Why isn't he happy?
I'm not happy at all, he wants to tell her, but that's so much more than her return or even just her. That's the world itself and the darkness (and the Darkness) and his jobs and the way his days are full of so much talking when no one's really saying anything. That's him not having a dream or a purpose or a goal. That's him getting up in the morning and wondering if she's going to get up, too, or if he'll be checking her room and the house for her, or looking for notes she might have left, coming up with excuses about how maybe she had to go to work really early or maybe she went to do a little training, because his heart would like nothing more than to believe her but how can he when he keeps having to dial her number and listen to that disconnected recording. That's Ven being so quiet even when things in the city are loud and busy. That's the Master leaving so soon after meeting his eyes. That's too many months of watching happiness keep slipping through his fingers.
You remember... but were we ever happy before? What can I be happy about?
It's all wrong.
Wrong of him.
He used to know the truth of their situation. He used to understand and embrace it with all of his being. He knew what mattered. When did his priorities get shuffled out of the right order?
None of the things I've been worrying about all this time are important.
Terra chances a wary look down at his NV as if the video feature might have turned itself on of its own accord. The way she'd asked that question... He winces as he closes his fingers around the button to reply.]
I don't know.
[His own happiness... It's almost laughable, in hindsight. Laughable and painful in a way that tightens his chest and dries out his mouth. She's back and she remembers and he's already hurt her.
You're such a fool. You're supposed to be doing everything in your power to make things right for them here. And things being right means both of them being happy and safe.
His happiness is nothing. Concern for it never should been found its way into his mind after all his mistakes, all the terrible things he's done both with and without Xehanort's 'assistance'.]
I'm sorry.
[Why were you happy to hear from me? All I gave you was grief before. I waited too long to tell you what you needed to know. I couldn't be relieved that you remember. I didn't ask if you were okay or what happened when you went back. I've just been thinking about myself.
He retreats slowly to the couch he'd been sitting on.]
I can do my errands tomorrow.