sirenspull | ♱ 5

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♱ 5 - video ♱

[ Despite looking far worse than she did the last time she appeared over the network, Integra looks, at the least, determined. She's sitting up in a chair this time around, not in bed, and she's dressed in her suit -- it's somewhat wrinkled, mind you, considering it took her every ounce of energy she had to get the stupid thing on.

With a shaky hand, the young heiress lifts a teacup from her nightstand; a dead give away that she's quarantined herself to her room, still. Using her other hand to steady it, she takes a small sip to wet her throat before speaking.

Her voice is gravely and hoarse, it's obvious she's having a hard time speaking. ]

I am in need of someone who can draw up a last will. If I am to die in this bloody place, I'm going to be legal. I don't have many things, I can assure you... so it will be quite simple. This is, naturally, assuming I die.

[ Because she sure as shit feels like it. ]

I don't want to do anything in person, naturally, I wouldn't want to infect anyone else. So if anyone knows of a good attorney or someone along those lines, if they would so kindly direct them my way... thank you.

[ The feed ends. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm not giving up... but have you not heard what others are saying? The stories of those who have died from this? Some people have been saved, others haven't... it's time to accept what could possibly happen. I'm not stupid, I know what my body is telling me, and it is telling me that I am getting tired.

[ She heaves a tired sigh, the strain in her voice is evident when she speaks next. ]

Which is why I am telling you, Walter, to take care of yourself. I am not afraid of death, and should I die, I have Seras Victoria to carry out and complete my own mission, should she return home. You, on the other hand, have much more to live for and give. Don't be a fool, stay in bed and rest for a few days, give yourself a chance to get better.

I can't just lie in bed and do nothing! I'm not about to watch you die! I'm sick of just watching while people die!

[Such was the predominant reason why Walter had fallen ill in the first place; doing less than he felt ought to be done when lives were at stake had left him with a heavy burden on his conscience. That Integra was telling him to do the same-- to repeat the spirit of the error when her own life was at stake-- only served to make him feel indescribably worse.]

You aren't just lying in bed and doing nothing. You're talking to me. You need to settle down... stop worrying about everyone and everything else, and worry about-- [ There's a small pause as she begins hacking away again, and it's a while before she finally manages to catch her breath again, enough to speak at least. ] --yourself.

[ Frowning, although he cannot see it, she closes her eyes and hums, feeling her heart rate slow down into a more normal pace once more. ]

...They say this disease is caused by guilt. So what is bothering you, Walter?

[The coughing fit immediately stole the fire out of his own outburst, the frustration turning inward as he listened to his master's daughter as she struggled to breathe.]

...It's not caused by it. It feeds on it.

[Which meant he in all likelihood had just made her feel worse.]

I'm sorry.

There is no need to apologize. You didn't answer my question, though.

[ She sighs, frowning. Walter had nothing to feel guilty about, did he? Even at his age now, in her eyes he could do no wrong. ]

...Please tell me. Even just a little; don't you want to feel better?

[A deep sigh passed from the adolescent butler. Although his outburst regarding the matter surrounding his guilt was accidentally made public to the network, the guilt itself was something only the household present at the time knew of. He didn't care to make that information widely available by speaking about it over the network-- because despite his talents in encrypting messages, the network never was completely secure.]

May I tell you in person?

Of course. Give me a few moments so that I can get up to you.

All right.

[ There's a click as she disconnects the NV. It takes her a bit longer than a few moments; she has to take a few breathers on her way up, but she finally makes it.

Pausing, she lightly knocks at the attic door, just enough to get his attention. ] Walter...?

[Having been waiting on the other side of the door, Walter was quick to open it upon Integra's knock. Not a second following her spoken query, the knob turned, and with a click the door unlatched and swung open.]

Come in.

[ Well that was fast. Integra blinked, before nodding and tiredly trudging in, having to mentally remind herself to pick up her feet. ]

Thank you. Now, where were we, hm...?

[Shutting the door behind them, Walter made his way towards the bed and took a seat on top of the covers.]

Before you came back...

[He paused, the memory that she had no recollection from the prior time she had been in Sirens Port prompting him to amend his words.]

--came here. There was an incident. A pair of vampires went on a rampage. A killing spree. Your grandfather wanted them alive. I... didn't agree with him.

[ Sitting down next to him, she listened to him carefully, nodding her head. ]

...So you killed them? I cannot say as I blame you, especially if they were causing so much trouble.

No. I... followed orders. But the one we ran into got away.

[He took in a shaky breath, eyes squeezed shut as he fought back the pain that flared at the memory.]

And the bastard kept on killing.

...I see. I can see why you would feel guilty.

[ She paused, unsure of what to do. She wasn't a very touchy feely person, but this was Walter. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she sighed. ]

Things happen, though. This was not in your control; everything happens for a reason, even in this place. You have nothing to blame yourself for... you did your job. You followed orders, and you did all that you could do.

[Walter flinched from the touch, hunching over as his fingers dug into the bedspread.]

But I didn't do all that I could do! I could have killed him...! It would have been easy to kill him!

[Killing, after all, was much easier than capturing.]

You did do all that you could do, Walter. You were following orders... you were doing your job. What became of the one that did not get away?

...They both got away. And the second one seems to have vanished from the city entirely now.

...You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You are the one who taught me that no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. Things happen... the most you can do is learn from your mistakes... because of that, you will push yourself to try harder next time, and more lives will be saved. Good things can come out of bad situations, sometimes, you know.

[At that, the butler grew still. And then, little by little, he straightened up, lifting his head to meet her gaze.

He didn't last long before he shifted, leaning his head against her arm.]

It seems like the only ones who aren't making excuses for that bastard are Alucard and me. Just because he has some sort of alternate personality... He knew something like that could happen, and he didn't have a proper plan in place. But it was like every bloody person on the network wanted to hold his hand over it. It didn't matter that dozens of people were dead...

[ Integra had to pause, straightening slightly when the poor young man leaned his head against her arm. With a soft sigh, the heiress merely wrapped the same arm around his shoulders, as he'd done with her when she was that age. ]

There is no excuse for what he did. He knows what he is, he should have asked for help if he needed to be tamed. That is no fault of yours; he made his decision. You followed orders and gave your all... if anyone should be feeling guilty, it is him.

[Again Walter's eyes squeezed shut, the young retainer taking in his future master's words and weighing them against his own emotions.

She was right. He knew she was right. He just... needed to stop being so hard on himself. He would be of no use to anyone if he allowed himself to be wrapped up in doubt.

Still, it was a little easier said than done. It would take him some time.]

...Yes, Sir.

If anything... it probably made you more protective, didn't it?

[ Shaking her head, she merely gave the young man a gentle squeeze, before using her free hand to lightly turn his face so that she could look directly at him, and not at the top of his head.

Finally, she offered him a small, tired smile. ]

...No one is perfect, Walter. You can't save everyone.

[Not flinching in the slightest at the touch afforded by the woman he would grow to raise, Walter allowed his face to be turned upward. He did not smile in return; instead, he held his gaze even with hers, responding to her words of consolation with an assertion of his own.]

I can save you.

[ Integra herself almost flinched at his words. The irony of that statement...

Shaking her head, she patted his cheek affectionately, before letting the young man go. ]

It's not that simple, I'm afraid.

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