026 // Video

[showbizpanache]

[Here's Kurt a little more world-weary than before, but completely recognizable now. He looks calm, peaceful, like he'd just accepted something. He's also draped in an over-large leather jacket that looks frankly bizarre on him, but he doesn't seem to care.]

So I... I'm back.

That is to say, my memories have returned. The funny thing is that--when they did? The first thing I thought about was the Out of the Darkness Project. More specifically, the fact that I haven't made an entry of my own yet.

I hadn't wanted to. It seems rather narcissistic, honestly. But now that I think about it, I think I just avoided it because I was scared. Scared of being vulnerable, I suppose. But... I think I can do it now. So--here goes.

[He clears his throat, curling up his legs, perching on the couch in his apartment.]


I know I talk about how much I hate this place whenever I get the chance--and I do, quite honestly, that hasn't changed, but... There's something about it that I appreciate: I feel like I can be myself here. That wasn't the case back home. I was treated...very badly. I felt like the world didn't want me to be me. Yet that's what made me stronger, you know? It made me much more driven, more tenacious, more fixated on my goals. I wanted to be a star more than anything, and I was willing to do anything to get there. I felt like if I were to break into the world and show everyone how talented and unique I was, then it would be the only way I could outshine all the prejudice and the self-doubt it brought me.

It's different here. I feel like this place has brought me down to Earth in a lot of ways, and I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or not. Still, I can't deny how much I've grown. So much has happened, I...I couldn't even begin to describe it all. I've...seen the darkest parts of this place. Horrible things, things I can't even describe. I've had my free will taken away from me. I've lost so many people...so many friends that sometimes I just-- [He sighs, shaking his head.]

I don't regret it. I don't regret meeting any of you. And the people I've lost... [He swallows.] You know, a while ago I wouldn't have been able to deal with this. I try to imagine what it would be like if I were all alone, but I'm...I'm not. I have wonderful friends.

Rachel...your smile never ceases to brighten my day. Even though we argue and snap at each other, even if I think you take far too long in the shower... You're my best friend. I believed with my whole heart that you'd come back, and you did. Because we're friends for good, right? Stuck with each other.

Finn? I know you feel like you aren't doing enough for me, and that's just silly. You're here. To have someone in my family here with me... It's more comforting than you can imagine. And honestly, Finn, I'm here for you, too. We're a team, okay? Never forget that.

Gosh, so many of you... Ahiru, Franz--I'm mad at you for firing me, by the way, don't think you're off the hook--Mercy, Chuck, Cloud, Jack, Claire, Jinx, Griffin, Genesis, Tim, Yosuke, Daedalus, Alice, Xion, Kazuma... I'm so lucky to have met all of you. I wouldn't take anything back, for anything in the world.

[A pause.] There's...one common denominator in all of this. In everything that's happened. One person who has been with me through all of it, even if we weren't--together, per se. Someone who keeps me humbled, who holds me up, who keeps me down to Earth while at the same time pushing my wings to fly.

We died together. We died, and then a day later we woke up at the same time, lying side by side. I don't think that really happens around here very often. I don't think it's ever happened here at all. That means something. I know it does.

[Sniff. He's starting to get a little teary.] Wh-what I'm trying to say is that Darkness is never something you can overcome alone. You need someone. Whether it's one person or many... Open your heart up to them. Don't take them for granted.

Bring them home. Keep them close. It's all you have here. Thank you.

Comments

[action]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine ends up wishing that Kurt had warned him about this video. After their conversation he was expecting to just browse the Network during the train ride over to the apartment. Instead he finds this and it fills him with such a beautiful and painful mixture of emotions.

It takes a lot of him to keep a good face on the train. He doesn't want people staring at him, after all. Finally he gets to the apartment and has to take a moment before knocking on the door.]

[showbizpanache]

[Quickly Kurt answers the door, inviting Blaine inside. His eyes are teary, but he's smiling.]

Hi. Come in... I'll take your coat.

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine frowns a bit at the tears and shrugs off his jacket.] Are you okay? [He sets aside his bags as soon as Kurt takes his coat.]

[Voice]

[recitings]

I'm happy for you, Kurt.

[It's the sweetest thing, to hear this on the network. But, still being affected by his amplified envy, he feels a pang of hurt as he is jealous of him having someone to be with.

He'll do his best to swallow it down through this conversation.]

[showbizpanache]

Thank you, though it's hardly anything to celebrate. I've just gone back to normal, that's all.

[recitings]

I wished I was just as blessed as you are sometimes. You and Franz both.

video;

[motioned]

[She smiles warmly.]

Welcome back, Kurt.

[showbizpanache]

Thanks, Ahiru. I hope I didn't distress you too much.

[motioned]

It's not your fault! I'm just glad you're back to normal.

video/private

[paterelohim]

Good to have you back.

[showbizpanache]

Thank you. It must have been annoying to deal with me like that.

[paterelohim]

Kind of, but I pretty much knew exactly how to handle it.

[laurice]

...I'm really glad you're back, Kurt.

[showbizpanache]

Thanks, Larry.

I'm sorry I forgot about your beautiful art. It was quite a travesty.

[laurice]

It's not your fault...it's the fault of whoever's been wiping memories. No worries.

voice; private||very difficult to hack

[discretion]

Claire is gone, Kurt. Looks like I'll be caring for Mr. Muggles again.

[A pause. His voice is carefully neutral.]

If you want it, you can have your job back.

[showbizpanache]

...She's gone.

[Pause.] I...I see. Well-- I'm sure Mr. Muggles is happy to be with you again.

[discretion]

I know you were friends. I'm sorry.

I hope he is happy. We take pretty good care of him.

How are you doing?

[video]

[surgicalshot]

I'm glad you've got your memory back, Kurt! [Beams.]

[showbizpanache]

Thanks, Doctor. Have you been well?

[surgicalshot]

I have been! There's... well, the city has been busy with everything, right? Jubilee took me to those aerial race things. But she's... she's been busy, too. I guess life moves on like usual, huh.

[text]

[theshortestbird]

That was really nice, Kurt. I'm glad you got your memories back. It was rough for the people you couldn't remember.

[showbizpanache]

I know. It must have been really stressful. I'm sorry.

[voice]

[rapturescreed]

I'm very glad you're feeling better, Mr. Hummel. I admit, it was not the same without you around.

[showbizpanache]

Hey, I was still around! Just...less informed, I guess. Hardly of use to anyone.